The First 90 Days as an Expat: Your Complete Survival Guide

The first 90 days as an expat require focusing on administrative tasks first (bank account, SIM card, transportation), living in temporary housing before committing to long-term rentals, systematically exploring neighborhoods at different times, and building daily routines with "anchor" places like favorite cafes and gyms. Accept inefficiency, everything takes 3x longer when you don't know systems yet. Join expat communities for practical advice while also befriending locals to avoid isolation. Start language classes immediately, establish healthcare providers, and give yourself permission to feel homesick without judging the experience as a failure. The first 3 months are about survival and orientation, not perfection.

Week 1-2: Administrative Survival

Don't try to "explore" the city in your first week. You'll be jet-lagged, confused, and inefficient. Instead, handle the boring stuff first. Open a bank account. Get a local SIM card for your phone. Figure out public transportation. Get your address registered. These boring tasks are what allow everything else to work.

Accept that you'll be inefficient. Everything takes three times longer than it should because you don't know where things are or how systems work. A task that would take 30 minutes at home takes 90 minutes abroad. Accept this and plan accordingly.

Don't make major financial decisions yet. Don't commit to an apartment for a year. Don't sign contracts. You don't know the neighborhoods yet. You don't know what you actually need. Live in an Airbnb or temporary rental for at least a month before committing.

Week 2-4: Orientation and Exploration

Start exploring neighborhoods systematically. Walk around at different times of day. Visit during weekday mornings, weekday evenings, and weekends. You'll get a completely different sense of a neighborhood depending on when you visit. Roma on Saturday night is very different from Roma on Tuesday morning.

Join expat groups and Facebook communities. These groups exist specifically for people like you. They have advice, recommendations, and friends waiting to be made. Yes, these communities can be superficial and gossipy, but they're also incredibly useful for practical information.

Don't isolate yourself with only other expats. While it's tempting to hang out exclusively with people who speak your language and understand your experience, you'll miss the whole point of moving abroad. Make an effort to befriend local people, even if it's awkward at first.

Week 4-8: Building Routine

Find a favorite cafe and become a regular. Find a gym or fitness activity. Find a favorite restaurant. Having a few "anchor" places in the city makes the whole place feel less overwhelming and more like home. Routine creates comfort.

Start taking language classes if you don't speak the local language. You don't need to be fluent, but basic conversational ability changes your experience dramatically. People treat you differently when you make an effort with language. Start early so you have 90 days of progress by the end of the quarter.

Stop comparing everything to your home country. Yes, things work differently here. That doesn't mean they're wrong; they're just different. This mental shift from "why don't they do it like we do at home?" to "how does this system actually work?" is crucial for happiness.

Week 8-12: Getting Comfortable

By week 8, you should know your way around. The city should feel less confusing. You should have a few friends (both expats and locals). You should know which metro lines go where. You should have found a decent place to eat, a gym, maybe a yoga studio.

This is when homesickness often hits hardest. The novelty has worn off. You're tired of being confused. You miss your friends. You miss food from home. You miss understanding the cultural context of conversations. This is normal and temporary.

Instead of fighting homesickness, acknowledge it and find ways to stay connected to home without isolating yourself. Call friends and family regularly, but don't spend all your time talking to people in your home timezone. Cook meals from home sometimes. Read news from home. But still engage with your new city.

What NOT to Do in Your First 90 Days

Don't make major life decisions. Don't decide you hate it and leave. Don't assume you're settling permanently. You're still in the honeymoon/honeymoon-ending phase. Your perspective will change.

Don't spend all your time with people from your home country. Yes, they understand you, but you're missing the whole point of being abroad.

Don't compare your situation to Instagram versions of expat life. Nobody posts about their lonely Tuesday nights or their bureaucratic nightmares. They post about parties and sunsets.

Don't ignore basic safety and security. You're vulnerable as a newcomer. Don't be paranoid, but be sensible. Don't walk around flashing cash and expensive items. Don't trust strangers offering amazing opportunities.

Don't commit to long-term financial obligations. Don't sign year-long apartment leases. Don't buy expensive furniture. Don't start a business yet. You might decide this place isn't for you, or you might decide you want a different neighborhood. Stay flexible.

What You SHOULD Do in Your First 90 Days

Get your legal/financial stuff sorted. Figure out visas, residency, taxes. These things matter long-term.

Invest in your physical and mental health. Exercise, eat well, sleep well. Homesickness is easier to handle when you're not exhausted and unhealthy.

Be intentional about making friends. Join clubs, take classes, go to meetups. Friendships don't happen by accident; they happen through repeated interaction in shared contexts.

Learn the city methodically. Don't just randomly explore. Take a walking tour. Read books or blogs about the city. Understand its history and culture. This deepens your relationship with the place.

Document your experience. Take photos, write journal entries, record thoughts. In six months, you'll have forgotten what it felt like to be this disoriented, and that perspective is valuable.

The Reality of the First 90 Days

You will be lonely sometimes. You will miss home. You will be confused by simple things. You will make mistakes. You will have moments of "what the hell was I thinking?" This is completely normal and shared by virtually every expat who ever moved.

You will also have moments of profound joy and freedom. You will discover new favorite restaurants. You will have conversations with interesting people from around the world. You will feel more alive than you've felt in years. This is also normal.

By day 90, you won't be "settled," but you'll be oriented. You'll know how the city works. You'll have made some friends. You'll know which neighborhoods you like and which you don't. You'll have a realistic sense of what living here is actually like, divorced from the fantasy you had before arriving.

And that's when the real work of building a life abroad begins.

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