Dear mailman, sorry about the sprinkler in Highland Park

My front yard sprinkler in Highland Park started shooting water sideways at the mailman one Saturday morning, and I ran out with a towel and no plan. The neighbor from across the street arrived with a wrench in his hand and a fixed grin, and we spent an hour kneeling in a puddle arguing about valves. We now share tools and a barbecue. The mailman has not forgiven either of us. He crosses the street now. He crosses it with great dignity.